Derby wife. A concept foreign to most people outside of the derby community, and those new to the sport. What is it, and what does it mean to have one? Does everybody have one? How long does it take to get one? And will my significant other be upset about it?
To those in the derby community, it can mean so many things: a best friend, a partner in crime, your go-to buddy for drills. Currently, over half of our team members have a derby wife. The majority of them have met and bonded at practice and team events, and a few of them have derby wives from previous teams. We asked a few skaters to answer some questions about the derby wife concept.
How would you describe a derby wife to someone who never heard of the concept?
Jail Bait: I would describe it as a fellow derby girl who you have bonded with the most and you know you work really well with. Also you spend a lot of time together and you’re basically a married couple. It’s a special bond.
TyrannoLauras Wrecks: A derby wife is the person you know has got your back and has similar ways of handling the aspects of being on a team like drama, gossip, balancing life. You can vent to them and they don’t judge and are a great carpool buddy.
Yoshi: A teammate you have that gets you. Someone you can’t partner with for drills because you laugh way too much. And someone who you can vent to when you feel like you’re doing horribly but they’ll reassure you that you’re doing fine and to stop whining.
Criss Catastrophe: Your closest friend on the league, your mentor, your motivator, and the person you go to lift you up when you’re feeling down about anything derby, or to gush to about something awesome you did! They’re your biggest cheerleader and they’re ready to revenge-hit anyone who does you wrong!
What does having a derby wife mean to you?
Collateral Dannage: It means a lot! I got someone who I can trust, and reach out to if I need help, support or encouragement. And a new BFF for life!
Jail Bait: Having a derby wife means that I have a close friend who I will have forever. The kind of friend who stays in your life even if you move away. I can tell my wifey anything and I know I won’t be judged by her. It’s also a teammate who you can see all the time and never get bored of or annoyed by. Personally, my derby wife is someone I look up to. I can learn a lot from her and she motivates me to be an awesome person.
TyrannoLauras Wrecks: I never gave much thought to having a derby wife until it happened. I joined derby to get in shape and learn derby but getting wifed up showed me it was more than just being there, I was building relationships with these ladies and I bonded to a couple of them closer than I thought I would.
Why do you think you and your wife are a good match?
TyrannoLauras Wrecks: Because we both stay out of drama and work to balance our lives with derby.
Yoshi: We get each other’s humor. We laugh at things no one else gets and become outraged at the same silly things.
Collateral Dannage: Because we have similar thoughts and opinions but don’t agree on everything, so we are able to give truthful feedback when needed. We started on the team almost at the same time so we have been together from the beginning. We funny!
Criss Catastrophe: We get each other. She’s a good ying to my yang because I get tightly wound and she’ll be so calm, and vica versa. We are good at just saying “screw it” and forgetting the drama of derby and life and making dirty jokes and gestures until we laugh so hard we forgot why were were angry in the first place!
Best advice your wife ever gave you?
Collateral Dannage: She has given me lots of great advice! About derby and about personal life matters. She give me confidence when I have really needed it. I think that’s the best.
Yoshi: Shut up and keep skating. I don’t care that your legs hurt, keep going
Criss Catastrophe: Her fashion advice is amazing. She taught me how to create a boutfit that didn’t make me look like the hot mess I used to be. I didn’t want to straight up copy her… but I’m not gonna lie. I totally did!
While we may all have different definitions of what it means to us, one thing is for sure – we all agree that the bond between derby wives is a strong one!
Don’t forget! We have a lot of exciting events coming up! Our first Rink Rash Bash of the season starts this Friday at our home rink, Open Recruitment Sunday, June 7th, and our first Home Bout of the season on June 13th!!!